Entering back into training, and I'm thinking about it. About how much is enough, and what I'm really aiming for.
I seem to do less than other people with similar goals. I seem to do too much to have any time outside training. I seem to do enough to get by and go the places I want to go when the event rolls around.
But what is it that I'm aiming for at this point? Can I ever put my finger on a single goal and say, "When I can do that, I will be ready"? The answer is no. I might think that doing regular 12 hour rides every weekend is about where it's at, but I didn't get that far before the Tour Divide. I only got up to 10 hours.
What I had instead of the 12 hour rides was more important. What I had was belief. Belief that I would finish under anything other than the most extreme circumstances. It wasn't gung-ho over-confidence, but an underlying sense that I had physical resources to draw on and a knowledge of my body.
For these multi-day things, I think it comes down to the trail moulding you. My aim is to shape myself into something like what the trail needs me to be. To also be flexible enough to adapt myself to its mould when I'm out there.
That is the goal of my training. At all sports, I lope. I don't sprint. But I keep loping. Tonight's run was 10km in about 45 minutes. Little bits of pain in my legs to begin with. Toast wanting to come back up part way through. But at ease in the last 5 minutes. In the rain and encroaching darkness, that's what I'm looking for.